with aloha

to those who feel it's been a long time - remember...there really is no such thing as time:)  - below is part of an email i wrote to a friend and realized...i wanted to share it with friends here on gaia... may you injoy...i am:)

we are one
heaven & earth
aki (akai)
___________________________________

ok...so now let's discuss life - you know - the real stuff:)

it is almost time. time for what? great question. time for all that is meant and will be. for those things that have waited patiently for me to walk in the wilderness knowing that i wasn't wandering, but was creating a path that would lead to the joys, wonderment, greatness, and unlimitedness. slowly? my energy has been shifting, everyday i feel closer to what will be instead of feeling the weight of what has been. my since of joy is increasing, my awareness, my sight:) i know moving is connected to a ton of physical things we've longed for - don't think i realized how connected to all things it appears to be. the very glorious feeling of life, real life, really living - is entering me in a way that is so magnificent! it is building daily as if it knows to join all at once would just knock me on my feet because it would be so powerful!:) but over this weekend it came to me, i'm ready. ready for what? for the all of it. ready for the gifts that have been storing themselves up, ready to receive and to share, ready to know and to be, ready for this phase of life,...ready.

even more importantly, it is apparently ready for me! it has been setting me up, arranging places, people, things, ideals, energies and the party i thought i was throwing, turns out to be the one i'm attending - participating in, living.

before i went to sleep last night an energy began to merge with me, one that let me know - it is now. now is the next phase that i didn't even think of as one. joy. abundance. love. peace. compassion. ability. talent. knowledge. power. strength. sight. healthiness. perfection. awareness. fame. laughter. yin & yang.

the peace that sits within me and dwells around me, spreads beyond my sight - is the greatest lover to date:) the knowing of the power of truth, the sureness of future while not worrying, but flowing, knowing, being, seeing and emanating. without having had a session of meditation, prayer or reading - i awake into an energy that i didn't need to seek, for it hath been waiting for me to awake into it. those things that seemed to be hardships, confusion, lack - they are coming to an end - this is what i thought was what i'd celebrate, only to awaken in the energy of the things that are now instead:) i'd thought i'd be filled with happiness for seeing things end, yet here i sit filled with happiness for the things that are just beginning - how divine. even divinity is smiling within me and it's light fills my being.

things that seemed worth stressing over have turned into pure oxygen - they have gone from seeming to be enemies to revealing themselves as friends. anya, my excitement about the now is more than i can type to you, even as i realize you're the one person i want to type it all too! lol. my sense of awareness is the most awesome i've known and my guides tell me it shall increase!!! how wonderful, blissful even. there are things that increase ones ability to tap into the all that is, eating properly, exercising...clean body, clear mind, pure energy. i have not only a desire to lose some weight, but the knowing that i am about to be in the best physical shape of my life. - it is almost funny these things that have come to be with me and instead of putting themselves on a "list" of things to do, they have revealed themselves as complete. shown me that it is no longer a struggle that i shall walk through them and not even feel the workload of what is being done.

joy - unspeakable. who knew? sure we knew - lol. but, i'd been so busy being busy i hadn't thought of when it might be? hadn't wished for a date. didn't look into my crystal globe:) so that is why this email is filled with my own wonderment of the joy that has revealed itself within my being. the things needing to still be done no longer seem like tasks that are daunting, they merely are crumbs on a plate - the small left overs that are so easily washed away creating a new palate to be filled with all that is filling. the junk food has lost flavor and real substance has instead replaced it. ironically the real substance is as simple and easy as air - it just is. i don't have to fix it, find it, prepare it, wish for it, focus on it, wonder about it - i woke up realizing i am it. i am that i am and am one with.

all is and what joy to know that all is now. oh the tingleing sensations that spread throughout me as the joy manifest itself into my reality, my consciences and subconscienous, my energy, earth, sky, water, - life. to awake and actually be awake:) i'm smiling a smile that is so true, divine i could sit in the presence of all that is and be content. not clock it, no mission, no begging, wishing, wanting - just being. knowing that all is.

it is like going from "seeing" the glorious future that is ahead of us to "being" in it. the power of the truth that it is not to come, it is already being and somehow went from coming one day to revealing that it is all days. oh the unspeakable joy of this truth, the peace that it hath filled me with is one that can only be felt even as words try to express it, yet, i am very aware that you will read these words and be in it also:) they will be experience for you too! how excellent to be in the peace of knowing.

seeing with more than eyes, more than vision, with all that i am - not having really accepted all that that actually is! lol. no more worrying. knowing that all is solved and then dancing with the solution instead of worrying about thinking of a solution. dare it be uttered from my being that this is to be in the presence of the knowledge of the truth of the power of that which creates all that is created. to be in the smile of that which is the power of god/goddess. to be in the humbleness that it is, even while it is all-powerful. to be in the light that it is, even though it is the beauty of night & darkness. to be fed by it, even though it is the greatest thing that all still hunger for. to be in the wonderment of it, even though it is an open book for all to know of. to be in the presence of it, even though it is all that ever was or will be - even infinity.

the complexity of explaining the simplest thing ever.

i thought i'd reach a place of writing again. channeling again. seeing...etc. but oh what little did i truly see. we hath been given physical eyes that cannot contain all of the earth even as we dwell upon it. we are part of something so massive we hath limited even our own thinking and consciousness of it just so that we could begin to reconceive it slowly, piece by piece. we hath taken a whole and chopped it so that it might be unto us like a puzzle. giving us a since of calm and ability to be able to place each piece slowly over time where it belongs. yet, even as we place these pieces, we hath forgotten how many pieces we have put into place. we hath not taken into account all the others who have been placing pieces into place also. we've been so consumed with our section of the puzzle that we sit in awe when it is revealed to us that the puzzle is indeed complete.

oh goddess that is anya, what does it mean when the puzzle is complete? is it not what we live for? is all complete? are we done? oh the joy to come into the knowledge that completing the puzzle only means that all is beginning!!! in this truth of beginning there is no ending, no middle, no age hath power here - all that is here was always here and will always be. it was never waiting for anything to be complete, it already is completion. yet having no ending, it can only continuously be the beginning of all.

anya!!!!! the oneness that is is. oh the gloriousness to sit within it and be filled of it even while spreading it, knowing it, being one with. - hahahahahahahahahahaha it is the greatest insanity ever! it is the brilliance of the sun and the wetness of rain, it is the hardness of soft dirt - lol. it is all joy! it is the truth that even pain isn't real - only an illusion we put before ourselves so that we might better appreciate joy - lol...how utterly hilarious.

all that is is all there is and oh the peace, the beauty, the wonder, the calm and the excitement!!!!!!!! the realization of true unlimitedness. to dwell here and be there. to sit here and see there. to have learned this but know that. the high has no low there is only this. it was never lost, it was merely a puzzle piece of consciousness knowing it would soon be in place and instead of being just a puzzle would reveal itself as truth. that truth which is unlimited. knows no fear. lives in joy and is creation.

to hath stopped to search of becoming a goddess and hath awaken to the truth of being a god. the power to do or be any and all things. the wisdom to choose wisely knowing that all is merely a choice that is consistently offered to eat of daily, nightly, lifely.:) to sit at the supper table filled will all there is and realize...there is no feeling of hunger, to hunger not - lol, lol, lol!!! to see the abundance of all there is to be consumed and then to see and know the truth that we are one with it, not consumers of it. we are not merely guest at a dinner with unlimited fillings, we are the dinner, we are the fillings, we are all that is.

to know that any and all desires are merely a thought, a decision away. lol! to know that all desire only takes the thought/decision to have what is desired and then it is also received, for it has always been. all is always being. the powefullness to know one can choose whatever thy heart desires and then the peaceful calm of knowing you already have all. - lol.

this morning what a glorious one it is. they have all been haven't they? even the ones we slept through! lol...even the ones we awoke to but didn't really wake up. on cloudy days the sun still shines, you merely have to go beyond the clouds to see it. how divine to live there to be in the truth of the oneness that is the cloud and the sun/son:)

as the power of knowledge and truth run amuck through this that is flesh and spirit and mind - it is divine. the smile that hath no reason, knowing that all is reason. the laughter that hears no joke, but knows all is joyfull. the smile that decides to not be contained but instead spread itself to those who look for a cause of it. the power of not being in a limited mind, but an unlimited consciousness. having all experiences reveal their power, their truths. knowing that all that is desired to transpire is, to just merely decide what is desired and to know that it is.

lol... how glorious to be in this unexpected place that was completely expecting my arrival! lol. to have obtained a ticket, traveled and still be shocked upon arrival! lol - it is so funny because it is so joyfull that it seeps out of me even as it never runs empty.

and so, that which is the most powerful is also the most peaceful. that is the key. that which would otherwise seem overwhelming cannot be so, for it is too peaceful to be overwhelmed by anything except the truth of joy. how do we get to where we're meant? lol. we're already there! sleepwalkers who don't realize how much traveling they’re doing. who think travel is literally going from a-z, not realizing that they are the travel.!

oh the blissfullness of awaking in joy only to uncover that you are the joy you're also awaking in. there was/is will never be any separation... separation is a gift you've given unto yourself so that you might put the puzzle together again in small pieces to not be overwhelmed. welcome to that which is so beyond all the pieces even while being each piece itself.

so this is joy unspeakable...this is bliss...how divine. lol.